Torn Up Photos and Lonely Nights
by D.J Mae
Summary: AU. B/A. All human. Buffy Summers and her Best friend are just trying to survive highschool. That is until they decide they want to do more than survive.. and Dive head first into the dangerous waters of popularity, parties, drugs and boys..
1. Slow down baby or you're gonna explode

**Author: **DJ Mae

**Rating: **R for now.. maybe NC-17 later on

**Summary:** AU All human. B/a fer sure. Buffy Summers is starting her sophmore year of highschool. Pretty typical of the normal teenager, but Buffy and her best friend are determined to make a name for themselves no matter what the cost and live up to the shadows cast by older siblings. Their task proves to be more difficult then they thought when drama, jealousy and boys are thrown into the mix.

**Disclaimer:** Joss is the master of all things buffy.. i do not own the characters i am merely borrowing them for my own twisted amusment.

**A/N**: I wrote this part of the story awhile ago, it wasnt originally B/A but i thought itd make a good B/A story.. let me know if i should continue i have a few more chapters to put up but want a reader's opinion first. So plz review.. Be gentle at first.. and enjoy!

It started out as humming. Nothing more than a little _hmm_ here or there to go along with the music that was emanating from my I-pod. Next came the drumming of my fingernails against my thighs as I walked down the road. I can never sit still, even when I'm sleeping I apparently thrash violently about, at least that's what my best friend Faith tells me. Everyone, except the doctor, thinks I have ADD; and since the doctor is the only one whose opinion counts, I am apparently ADD free. Another problem I seem to have is walking dark, empty, streets on the way to Faith's house listening to music louder than I probably should and thinking about how I could be attacked and raped or eaten by creepy inbred men that can't be killed like I saw in that one movie with Faith. Now I look like such a freak glancing behind me every few seconds to make sure no ones following me or something. You might as well put a sign on my back that says "Hi I'm Buffy Anne Summers please abduct me and shove me into your panel van."

Then, I realized that I was humming louder than I wanted to. Not to mention that I looked rather shady in the huge hooded sweatshirt I borrowed from my brother to cover up the slutty party clothes I had on underneath, which my parents would not have approved of. I made the decision that I would rather look slutty walking down a dark, empty street, than like I was selling heroin or going to rob a house, so I removed my sweatshirt and fixed my hair. The next thing I knew, my hardly covered navel area was wrapped in a freezing cold breeze, but I couldn't put the sweatshirt back on because it would totally undo all the hard work I put into my hair. I turned the music on louder to distract myself from the cold air that was making goose-bumps rise up my exposed arms.

You see Faith and I are hosting a back to school party. I know what you're thinking, who the hell has a party celebrating the arrival of another year of torture. But what you do not know is that me and Faith are starting our sophomore year; still not party worthy I know. This party is more a way to get noticed and not live another year as the stupid underclassman. Since Faith's parents were conveniently out of the state for the weekend, we jumped at the chance to ruin her parent's house by having more than half of the entire high school which included basically all the sophomores, a majority of the juniors and we were hoping more than anything seniors.

The outfit I was wearing, the one my parents would have had a heart attack over, included a green bikini top with little white polka-dots. I matched it with a tiny white skirt, which I borrowed from my sister's closet. Gwen, my older sister was now in college, she goes to the state university, so she's basically home every weekend. She went to the same high school, Sunnydale High, Faith and I go to, she was a notorious party girl. She was out every Friday and Saturday night, every night in the summer. Not to mention she was a cheerleader, had great grades and graduated 4th in her class. She was a lot to live up too. When my brother told her about the party Faith was having, since he was a junior and therefore attending, Gwen got incredibly excited. She rushed me into her room where she then gave me the full party makeover. She straightened my hair, nearly burning my ear off as she did so, did my make-up for me, which she did really well actually, and let me borrow her clothes, since we were the same size. Which included the white skirt that she said would "hug" my curves, they did more than that, like irritate the hell out of me, and these really cute pair of Juicy Couture flip-flops she won from one of her sorority sister's in a drunken card game.

So, somehow I wind up looking into the tinted windows of an SUV parked under a street light on the side of the road, trying to make my bikini top cover more than it was, I wasn't really used to dressing like this but Faith insisted that since this was summer and a summer party we should wear bathing suites; I glanced down at the incredibly short skirt that seemed to be getting shorter, not to mention tighter, by the minute. "What the hell am I doing, I'm totally asking for someone to offer me free candy… I'd probably take it too," I said this out loud even though I knew no one could hear me. I started on down the street, still about 5 minutes away from Faith's. I could have gotten a ride, except my parents probably would have suspected something was going on at her house and my brother was going to drive me, except I had to go earlier to help Faith and he wanted to arrive with his junior friends and not look like a loser hanging out with his sister. He did, however, manage to tell me he was proud of me for having the guts to sneak out of the house like this without my parents catching on.

I was about 5 houses away from where the car was parked; I started tugging at my skirt as I walk trying to pull it down so I felt less bare and out of place. Then I heard the start of an engine. I turned around to see what it was, thinking it was one of the house owners pulling out of their driveway, to go the opposite way I was walking. It was not a surprise to me that when I turned around, the Black SUV with tinted windows turning around to go the direction I was walking. I was the most unlucky person ever. The look they gave me when they rolled down the windows as they past me, said that they had seen pretty much everything.

**A/N:** Continue? yes? no? sry bout lack of Angel and general action its just a set up and getting to know the basics... He will make an appearence in the next chapter if i so choose to continue.. its all up to you.


	2. Lie still and close your eyes girl

"Buffy

"Buffy! What the fuck took you so long? God you look good. You look better than me; I need to redo my hair now. Oh my god, where did you get that skirt?"

"Only you Faith could have a summer party on the coldest day of summer." I ignored her other comments because that's how Faith always is, and if I had tried to answer any of her questions she would have cut me off.

"I guess so; you have goose bumps all up and down your arms, get inside. Hey you brother's coming right? If Wesley comes, that means other juniors are coming. So he is coming right?" I nodded in response; knowing she wasn't paying attention any way. We were walking up stairs to her room, were she was probably going to change her outfit three more times before she decided on one, which will most likely be what ever one she was wearing when the party people arrive. I looked around the house as she kept going on about this or that. I had to say she was great at getting a house ready for a party, all the breakables had been wrapped and put in boxes which were stacked in her room and the guest room, I told her this was probably a bad idea since rooms are normally snuck into for things other than partying but she said she was putting a baby gate up to keep people from going upstairs, like that would stop them. She set chips out and vodka, tequila and anything else she could score from her parent's liquor cabinet that they never checked.

"Buffy? Buffy?! Pay attention, I'm trying to figure out what looks better the red stripes or yellow polka-dots, and what skirt should I wear with them?" She looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to answer the question, which to her was the most important question ever.

"Go with the red stripes, if you wear polka-dots we'll be matching, which would make us look ten, plus you don't look good in yellow. With the red stripes you should wear your black mini skirt. Does that answer all of your questions?" She shot me a look after my sarcastic comment.

"All I'm saying is that as the hosts of this party we half to look the best," she paused to look me up and down, "and you already look so fantastic with your straight blonde hair and… oh my god are those shoes juicy?!"

"Uhm, yeah I think so. Gwen told me she won them in a card game at her sorority. She didn't really like them so she said she didn't care if they got ruined." Faith continued to freak out about the way she looked and how I was crazy if I thought I was going to ruin those shoes.

5 minutes later. "Buffy what time is it? 9:00?! Oh my god the party is starting any minute now. Will my best friend _everrrr_ go down stairs, turn music on and answer the door if it rings? I'll be down in a little I just have to fix my make-up." So I did what I was told. A few minutes after I turned the music on the door bell rang. The first to arrive where of course some sophomores and a couple of my other best friends, Willow and Xander.

By 10 a clock there were some juniors, including my brother and his friends, which meant more juniors were going to come because my brother is pretty popular with the junior girls. Luckily my brother's friends brought a keg because we had long ago run out of the six-pack which we naively thought would be enough. By 11 a clock, however the seniors came. In groups one right after another, a majority of them brought beers so were pretty stocked after they arrived. One of the seniors carrying a huge pack of beer walked over to the stereo, Faith's dad's pride and joy, and cranked it up so the bass made the entire house shake and fool me into thinking my cell was vibrating every 5 minutes.

The music now filled the house, there wasn't one corner you could stand and not hear it. Even outside by the pool, where kids now started to swim, you could hear the words clearly. Faith was so overwhelmed or nervous or I don't know what she was but she soon started to drink any alcohol she could find. Since Faith was otherwise engaged with the boy she was snogging in the corner, and OMG! Is that Xander? I am so gonna never let her forget that. I assumed her role as party host or the person who made sure the house wasn't put into irreparable damage. This means I walked around with one or two beers in my hand, plus the bottle opener, and said hi to people while offering them beverages and grabbing anything breakable that we forgot to put away.

XoXoXoXoXoXo

Faith's house was outside the neighborhood I lived in. It was a house that was in her family for ages, way before they started to develop my neighborhood. It was a huge mansion like house in the woods behind the last row of houses. The whole area had once belonged to Faith's family, but one of her relatives got into bad trouble, owed a lot of money to some bad people, so her family sold the land they didn't need but kept a long stretch of it so they weren't part of the new development surrounding them.

This is what made Faith's house the perfect party house. It wasn't miles from civilization, in walking distance of my house, but it was huge and had acres of woods surrounding it so the loud noise of our music wouldn't carry. Even if it had, no one would have bothered to call the cops because it was far enough away from them so as not to bother them.

Faith's house, old as it was, as filled with tons of family heirlooms, a majority of them breakable. So as I made my hostess rounds I made note of everything that could cause Faith to be grounded for the rest of sophomore year and grabbed them to put under the sink in the kitchen or bathroom. I was about to turn around to yell at some junior, who probably knows my brother and was only doing so because of that, who slapped my ass as I walked by, when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a valuable looking object about to crash to the floor. So I ignored the junior, and made a dive for a crystal vase, which I caught an inch above the floor. People drunkenly clapped and whooped at my superwoman abilities, but all I did, before turning to put this vase under the kitchen sink, was give the guy who touched my butt a nasty look.

I walked into the kitchen which was mostly deserted besides some guy I didn't know rifling through a drawer. I asked him what he was looking for, he jumped back with surprise, looked at me for a second and then said he needed a bottle opener, and held up the beer in his hand as if to prove it. I had one on me, so I walked over and opened it for him.

"I haven't seen you around before, are you new here?" I asked him while noticing that he was cute in that boyish kind of way. He had dirty blondish hair that was longer than most guys wear their hair here, unless they're surfers. that and was medium hieght and and had a veryyy nice body. He looked kind of like a cute country boy which is so different from all the California types 'round here in Sunny-D. He had a mischevious smile plastered on his face and it was charming in a way I couldn't describe.

"Yeah, my family moved here the first week of July, I heard this kid talking about the party and thought I'd check it out. I'm Lindsay by the way." He said in this texas style accent. So I was right about him being a country boy. I opened my mouth to tell him my name but was startled by my brother coming up behind me and picking me up by the waist. I elbowed Wes in the gut and was about to turn around to talk to Lindsay again but he had disappeared. So instead I turned around to talk to my brother who was with a group of his junior friends and some seniors.

"You scared the shit out of me Wes, not to mention I was in the middle of a conversation so it was only a little bit rude." I gave him my 'crawl into a hole and die' glare for emphasis.

"Ah, but baby sister it is my job to protect you from any shady characters, and that guy looked shady." He replied in a fake British accent he insisted on using sometimes even though he only lived there for a year before I was born.

"God you're such a jerk, that guy was new here and didn't know anyone; I was trying to be nice. It's not like every guy I talk to I want to make out with." He ignored this, but his friends snickered at my mention of making out; his friend Parker, I have no idea how he can stand the guy, in an effort to join our conversation grabbed my hand.

"My fair Buffy, my how you've grown." Parker then kissed my hand. I pulled away disgusted.

"Oh Parker, hun, in all the year's I've known you, I didn't think it was possible for you to become any more of a slimy ass." This was greeted by a chuckle from the crowd. I took the moment to look at some of the other people standing around us. Wes' best friends Doyle and Owen. Wesley's little girlfriend Fred was also there. Finally looked up and noticed the seniors standing with them. Three of them were guys that looked oddly familiar and some girl named Darla who was looking at me with disdain and looked like she had a poll shoved up her ass.

"And these guys are Angelus, Spike and Gunn. Guy's this is my sister Drea, this is her friend's party, she's a sophomore." He smiled this grand, proud smile because I was involved in the putting together of this shindig. When I was turning to walk away I Angelus caught my eye and winked at me. I thought that was incredibly odd because Angelus was way out of my league. I may have never actually seen them until now, but I knew their names, everyone here has they are "the" people, the guys every girl has wet dreams about and every guy tries to emulate. I was trying to ignore the little flutter that went through my stomach at Angelus' actions and forget it altogether when I heard a crash from the living room and moved quicker. When I was out of earshot, or what they thought was earshot, I heard Parker turn to my brother and ask him when I got "so damn hot." I glanced back and saw my brother smack him in the back of the head, but I also got a better look at Angelus and Spike and realized that I had seen them earlier that night. Driving in an SUV that I had gotten quite familiar with earlier that night.

I started searching for Faith, who like always was never where she was supposed to be. I ignored the guys who whistled as I walked by them, and the girl who asked me where the bathroom was and walked out side to the pool. Of course my best friend had to be slightly tipsy in a pool surrounded by a bunch of older guys, making a complete fool of herself. She did, however, look like she was enjoying herself so I decided to just leave her alone. I could tell her how I made myself look like a crazy slut in front of the sexiest guys in school.

I started to just wander around the house. I said hi to the occasional few and stopped to talk to some of my other friends Willow and Cordy. We talked about the cute boys that were around, which ones were datable and which ones weren't. Cordy looked distracted and was looking over my shoulder at something. I glanced behind me but it was only my brother and the same people he was talking to earlier, but now he was surrounded but a bunch of girls swooning over Angelus, Spike and Gunn. She kept looking at them though the whole time we were talking.

"Cordy why the hell do you keep staring at Wes?" I finally asked her.

"Well it's just that I didn't realize he was friends with Angelus and Spike." She said I looked over at Willow and she was now also looking at them quizzically.

"So? Why is it such a big deal, he can hang out with whoever he wants." I was confused and slightly annoyed by the fact they would rather stare at my brother than continue the conversation we were having.

"Well Buffy, it's just that they aren't just seniors. They're THE seniors." Willow chimed in.

"They're at all the parties. They get all the girls, are stars on the Lacrosse team, but they aren't dumb Jocks either, they get good grades too. They're basically the guys your sister would have gone for. Perfect in everyway and the "it" crowd. Wes hanging out with them means that is might as well be the king of the junior class because he is in." Cordy explained in full detail.

"Well I'm not stupid, I have eyes. I just don't understand why they're so cool every other guy at our school is the same way; my brother introduced me to them earlier. It wasn't like I melted at the sight of them or anything." I knew they were "it" I was just really confused as to why these two guys are more special than any other guy. Besides the fact that they were movie star gorgeous. Willow started chattering on about why they where this and that and I laughed at her and then excused myself to use the restroom. Which I didn't really need to use, the conversation about how cool those guys were, was getting boring fast.

Not only were they the coolest guys in all of our high school, but I probably flashed them too. I also danced, sang and applied my new kiss-me-kiwi lip gloss in the window of their car. Plus they knew it was me. That's why Angelus winked at me. He was the one driving. Why is it that you always chose the worst possible moments to make a fool of yourself? You can't just do it in private when no one else is around; you have to do it in front of the worst possible people ever. No, it had to be the gorgeous guys, with movie star good looks, that were hanging out at your party with your older brother. I was screwed.

I was sitting on the couch next to a couple of seniors making out and a sophomore girl named Nina that I've known since kindergarten. We didn't talk or anything, we weren't really friends, just acquaintances that didn't really mind each other. After a few minutes of awkward silence I got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. It was empty and quite I went and sat on counter next to the fridge were I couldn't really be seen unless you walk straight across the kitchen. Then someone walked in and opened the refrigerator door. I think I scared them, sitting there, because when they glanced up and saw me they jumped back and knocked there elbow on the counter.

"Serves you right for trying to eat food out of someone else's refrigerator." I told Lindsay. I hate it when you're at a party and people start eating out of the houses' fridge. It's not like you're there for dinner, you're only supposed to eat the food that's set out for you.

"I didn't think anyone was in here."

"Obviously, otherwise you wouldn't be sneaking the food out of the fridge. I'm Buffy by the way; you disappeared before I could introduce my self."

"Oh yeah, I thought you wanted to be alone with your boyfriend, so I went into the dining room to play cards."

"Boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend… Oh you mean the guy that came over and picked me up? Ew, gross! That was my brother." I was severely disgusted by the fact that someone could think my brother was my boyfriend. The two should never mix, that would be incest.

"Oh I just assumed. Yeah, well, like I told you I'm new here I didn't really know who anyone was. So this is your party huh?" Lindsay said.

"Yeah, but it's not my house. The house belongs to my friend Faith, last I saw her she was out by the pool. I think she was nervous about throwing it at her house, so she drank a lot and is now kind of out of it. That's why I'm taking care of everything. You'd know her if u saw her, brunette, beautiful and loud." I picked up a can of beer that was on the counter next to me, opened it and took a sip. He smiled, looked kind of distracted, and walked away. I don't know why it bothered me so much that he just kind of left me sitting there but I felt rejected in a way. Like I was to boring for words. I drank some more of the beer. Than more and a little more until all that was left were the dead soldiers at the bottom of the can. Than I picked up another can and repeated the process.

I think I had 4 before I got bored of sitting in the kitchen and hopped down of the counter. I wobbled a little when I landed on the floor and had to hold on to the edge of the counter to keep my self upright. I stood there for a minute waiting for the dizzy feeling to stop. I then prepared to launch my self from the counter and move into the living room. It didn't quite work as planned; I ended up spinning back in the same place. I tried it again, this time I launched myself into someone else and fell on my ass. I broke out into uncontrollable laughter. I don't know I thought it was so funny, but I couldn't stop laughing.

"Whoa, are you okay?" Someone behind me asked; which made me laugh harder. Whoever it was grabbed me by the elbows and helped me off the floor. By this pointing had laughed myself to tears. "Well, I think you had enough to drink." Who ever it was now holding me upright.

"What? No. I really don't think I've had enough. Only four… plus the one I had earlier, but that one doesn't count I didn't drank that one 2 hours ago… I think. What time is it?? Who are you to tell me how much I can or cannot drink?" I turned around at this point to see who was trying to control my alcohol intake but instead I lost my balance and almost fell again, but the guy standing behind me caught me before my ass was damaged further.

"Hey there pretty lady, why don't we take it easy and get you a glass of water." Angelus lifted me up onto the counter and made sure I wasn't going to fall over, and then started searching a glass to put water in. I was swaying back and forth to the thump of the music emanating from the living room. I like the way the Alcohol made me feel, like nothing, I wasn't anything I was just there. I started swaying a little faster and was way off the beat when I hit my head really hard against the cupboard behind me.

"Rough night?" Angelus said handing me the glass of water. I became extremely interested in drinking as much water as fast as I could when I realized that Angelus was watching me with fascination.. or was it annoyance. "Whoa slow down, you don't want to drown yourself."

"How would you know?" I replied, only god knows why I said that. I am not emo, or goth, or suicidal. I'd never even thought anything less than optimistic, I was Miss optimism. But it bothered me that he just assumed things about me; which is really stupid because any sane person would assume you don't want to kill yourself.

"Know what?"

"Know that I don't want to drown myself." He didn't say anything back; he just stood there looking at me. I went back to drinking the water, slower this time. I set the glass down beside me, but stayed on the counter. He leaned back against the counter and took a swig of his beer. "Hypocrite." I thought I'd said this under my breath.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing." There was silence again, except for the music in the other room. I started taping my foot against the cabinet to the beat of music. Angelus joined in by drumming his fingers against the counter. I started humming to myself and swaying again.

"You like dancing don't you?"

It was my turn. "Excuse me?"

"Oh nothing I just noticed, that you like dancing."

"When have you ever seen me dance?" I tried to make this question sound nonchalant. Like "oh you've seen me dance how nice for you." But it came out more squeaky, like "you've seen me dance, what, ohmygod, my life is over."

"I saw you dancing on the way here." He said it as if it was nothing, but my face went hot and I felt a huge blush overcome my face. He smiled this crooked smile as he saw this and I blushed harder.

"Oh, uhm, yeah." I thought about denying it or just walking away, but I couldn't think of anything to say and if I tried to leave I'd probably fall over and he'd have to help me up again. He smiled at me again as I fumbled for something amazing to say, to make up for my lameness earlier that night. "Obviously I didn't realize anyone was in that car. I mean who sits in cars for 10 minutes without turning the car on and going somewhere?"

"Well apparently I do."

"Apparently."

"You're a touchy girl."

"What? I never touched you. You were the one that picked me up and put me on this counter, if anyone in this kitchen is 'touchy' then it's you. You're also quite controlling." He laughed at this and gave me a huge grin that made my insides melt. I was confused as hell because I think I insulted him, or tried to, and he thought it was hilarious.

"I didn't mean 'touchy' in that way. And what makes me controlling."

He was still showing me all his teeth as I struggled for words. "Well, uhm, you don't even know me yet your telling me how much beer I can drink, that I need water, that I don't want to drown myself, that I like to dance and that I'm touchy; which doesn't make you so much controlling as infuriating." This was greeted with another chuckle.

"You're not really a people person are you?"

"See there you go again!" I tried to lean over and glare at him but I lurched to far forward and fall head first into the tile, but Angelus grabbed me shoulders and stood in front of me so I wouldn't crack my head open. "Not to mention you keep making it so I can't fall over."

"You want to fall over?" He asked me steal standing in from of me but his hands moved from my shoulders to the counter space on either side of me.

"No, but if I did, you'd make it pretty damn impossible." I said and tried to relay that this was an annoying quality. He smiled a slow, mischievous smile and leaned in so are noses were almost touching.

"Wouldn't want such a pretty face to get hurt, now would we?" As he said this, I was looking straight into his Chocolate brown eyes, which was my favorite candy but the way. He stayed so close to my face that I was sure he was going to kiss me, I was aching for him to kiss me. My skin was itching in anticipation and I was getting butterflies in my stomach. Then he backed away from me. I heard someone in the other room calling for Angelus and he turned and walked out of the room. I sat there for a few moments longer then hopped down off the counter and went to join the rest of the party.

It had died down quite a bit. I think the music was louder though. Everyone was smashed, either lying in various areas on the floor or the couches, or standing and swaying talking to other people who were standing and swaying. People were making out everywhere, on the stairs, the couches, the floor, against the walls, it must have been mating season. Someone yelled my name as I walked into the room so I went over and visited with my fellow classmates.

I really just stood there and nodded here and there. I was distracted. Across the room Angelus was talking to Spike, my brother and the rest of their little group. He made a joke and all the girls around him laughed these really fake laughs. I had never really looked at him before. I mean he was one of the hottest boys in our high school, but he was upper classman and we were just freshman. We only just glanced over our shoulders as he walked by or glanced up and down really fast as we passed his locker, we had to sneak looks than giggle idiotically and make up lies about how he looked at us we looked at him. It was stupid immature girl stuff.

I had never noticed, however, that his eyes happened to be the same as my favorite candy. He could have been a male model in another life, he had these gorgeous check bones, perfect lips and almost black brown hair that was cut in that was gelled in spiked into this messy 'I just got out of bed look' which made me wonder what he looked like when he first wakes up in the morning, bad Buffy. He was pretty tall too, quite a few inches taller than Spike, which I don't know how tall Spike is but well Angelus is tall. He had the most amazing body, or so I could imagine from the white wife beater he wore which showed off his abs and the black leather pants that clung to his tight ass and muscular thighs. His smile is as perfect and mind blowing as Chris Lowell's, who's on my favorite show Veronica Mars.

I don't know how long I was staring at him. It was only until Willow got bored with the conversation, noticed me staring at something, realized what I was staring at and then nudged me so violently I had to struggle to stay up right. When I gave her the meanest look I think I've ever given anyone she just smiled innocently. "You were drooling all over yourself. If it was me, I would hope you'd do the same." Was her excuse.


	3. Someone's gonna let their guard down

My brother came up to me all smiles before he left

My brother came up to me all smiles before he left. He gave me a huge bear hug lifting me off the ground, which was just for show since his little sister threw an okay party, if it had sucked he would have left before he even walked in and denied any relation to me. His posse of the cool juniors, seniors and girls left with him. They left around 2:30, which was everyone else's cue that the party was over. It took two hours for the last two people, Cordy and Willow, to leave.

I walked back into the living room. I stopped in the entrance and instantly got a headache. Empty beer bottles, cans, paper cups, all the other things people leave behind, the couch cushions were all at weird angles and some of the were on the floors. I was going to have to clean this all up, with some but minimal help from Faith. No sense in worrying about it right this second. I walked over to the couch were Faith had thrown herself and shook her until she grunted at me, got up and we went to her room to crash on her bed.

I woke up the next morning to Faith open the curtains in her room with such force that the almost tore. Light flooded into the room which reminded my brain that I had a hang over and did not like bright, bright lights.

"Faith what the hell are you doing? What time is it?"

"Come on, out of bed it's 10:30, make that 10:32, and we need to get started cleaning. I've been up since, uhm, 9ish and I've started cleaning the living room. We still need to clean up the yard, the bath room, the kitchen, the stairs and hallways, and we need to put all the breakable stuff back where it was store the boxes back in the garage." I felt like I was dieing, yet Faith was up, making lists and looked like she did not party last night.

I had no choice but to get up and help. Faith let me get some water first though. Then we set off and started cleaning. Faith did the living room; I went outside and cleaned around the pool, patio and hot tub. Then we both cleaned the kitchen, bathroom and everything else together. We then sat down and started unwrapping the glass dishes, candles and statues. I unwrapped while Faith put them in the right place.

"So anything exciting happen last night for you?" Faith asked me while putting family photos back on the mantel above the fire place.

"I don't think I should give you the satisfaction of knowing how my night went since you just abandoned me."

"I didn't abandon you… I just you looked fine and I just…"

"Made out with Xander?" I finished for her.

She cringed. "Gahh I was hoping you hadn't seen that."

"Nope I did, and so did a lot of other people." I knew I shouldn't be giving her such a hard time, I mean I was really drunk too, but I was kind of annoyed with her for ditching me. In order to keep myself from getting emotional and saying something bitchy I changed the subject. "So there was a new guy here last night."

"What really? And I didn't see him? Where have I been? Is he cute? What's he like? What grade.." I cut her off.

"Chill Faith one at a time. I don't know that much just that his name is Lindsay and he just moved here this summer I think he's from the country 'cuz he kinda looked like that almost overwhelmed by our wily California ways." I paused to snicker at my comment. "But he was really cute but we were like talking and he just seemed to get up and leave, it was weird."

"Huh, can't wait to meet him, what grade is he in?"

"Dunno" We stopped talking for a bit and continued to put away the glasses. When we were done we both sat down on the couch with a loud sigh.

"So who was all here last night, I saw your brother but I was distracted most of the time." Faith asked as she flipped through the channels and finally settled on the Laguna Beach marathon on MTV.

"Well yeah my bro, then Parker, freak he tried to hit on me, Doyle, Winifred and Owen. Will was here with Cordy, Xan obviously. The new guy, I saw Nina and a few other people. Not to mention Angelus, Gunn and Spike.. Oh and wanna know the best part?" I then went into my long embarrassing story about how I had adjusted my bathing suite in front of their car and the kitchen episode with Angelus and how I pretty much insulted him. Faith however was more caught up on the fact that I said he made my stomach flutter and I thought he was gonna kiss me.

"B," she the let out this long suffering sigh, "I know he's cute, more than cute he's the most attractive guy living in Sunnydale.. But just because we throw a party does not make us automatically cool. It takes time. Plus he's the hot lacrosse captain senior and you're a sophomore. And more to the point B, he is a known playboy. The biggest! He and Spike have a new girl every week. And that girl Darla you saw him with is his on off fling when he isn't making his way through the female population."

"So…You think I'm not good enough for him?"

"I didn't say that. It's just, B.. You're a sweetheart, you like romance and stuff like that. If you start to like him… well I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I can handle myself thank you." I said with finality putting and end to the conversation. We spent the rest of the day on her couch watching Laguna and doing our nails. The next week was the first day of what promises to be an interesting school year.


	4. You can rent a space inside my mind

The first day of school. The end of summer. The end of our lives. Whatever you want to refer to this day as it's all means to an end. It's been a week since our party. A week filled with tanning, sleeping, lounging and all that jazz that occurs during a summer break. Now I'm being forced to wake up at 6:30 and go to an establishment meant to make me learn. What a joke.

What really happens at high school has nothing to do with education and more to do with who's dating who, wearing what and ingesting what and not ingesting anything at all. All so we can go on to college, get a job and then be incredibly miserable with our lives. We are supposed to look back on these years and think about how they were the best years of our lives. If these **are **the best years of my life… Well let's just say I'll shove my head in an oven like they do in The Virgin Suicides and call it a life.

As of this moment I'm driving in the car with Wes and Doyle on the way to school. We live in a fairly rich neighborhood. Who am I kidding this neighborhood is quite rich. My family just happens to be a little less so than most people there fore we only have 3 cars, one for my mom, my dad and one for Wes and I to split. But since he's had his license longer he's the one that gets to drive it to school and we pick up Doyle on the way.

Doyle, my Bro's best friend used to live in our neighborhood, but a couple years ago his father lost his job so they had to move. He's still pretty close to our family and none of the kids have shunned him, but that's only because what Doyle lacks in riches, he makes up in Lacrosse Skills. And here at Sunnydale High that's all that matters.

The lacrosse team. Sigh. How can I properly explain the politics of our school and lacrosse? Well let's just say that here in Sunny D lacrosse is the equivalent of football and then some. The guys on the team are the popular guys and they then decide what girls are popular, that changes quite a lot with each new flavor of the week but some girls who are stuck in the 'friend zone' are quite consistent. Lacrosse also explains Wes, a junior, would be allowed in the presence of Angelus and Spike. See Wes, Owen, Parker and Doyle are the best juniors on the lacrosse team. And, you guessed it; Angelus, Spike and Gunn would be team captains. I guess the fact that Wes is good at lacrosse gives him a pass, where as the rest of us have to work our asses off so we aren't just another face in the yearbook.

It appears that during my rant, Wes has already made it into the parking lot and is parking the car. Doyle and Wes then jump out of the car as fast as possible and go meet up with Winifred, Fred, and the rest of their friends. I get out slower than normal and glance around for my friends. Who are sitting in the usual spot that we claimed last year, under the willow tree in the quad. Wills thought is was funny that we sat under a willow tree and her name is Willow, she's easily amused.

"Hey B! Over here!" Faith yells even though I was already walking towards them. Cordelia was leaning against the tree filing her nails, Willow was practically jumping up and down in excitement, she likes school a little more than she should, Xan was sitting next to Cordy and Faith was, well examining my outfit to make sure I looked 'hip' enough. I don't know when Faith got so into fashion, she used to be a big tomboy, now she's like, Cordelia.

"Hey guys what's up?" I receive a vague answer from Cordelia, a "the usual" from Xan and a rant about how it's great to be back at school from Wills.

"God B, you look so good, I'm really jealous where'd you get that outfit?" Faith cuts into Willow gushing about how great this year will be. I glance down at what I did decide to put on this morning. A hot pink Lacoste Polo, with a white belt and a jean skirt from Abercrombie, white leg warmers and hot pink Converse. I know it sounds kind of odd, but it actually looks pretty chic, in a preppy way… I usually try not to be so preppy but when you have a sister in a sorority who likes to pass on their style knowledge, it just happens.

"My sister and her friends dressed me… Are you sure I look ok? I just don't feel it's me," I look at what Faiths wearing. Black skinnies with black knee high boots and a navy blue Holister t-shirt, Faith may be fashion conscience now but she still isn't a skirt kind of gal. "You look cute too, I love your boots."

"Wonderful, we all look wonderful; can we change the subject to other things now?" Xander cuts into the conversation.

"Like what Xander, how you're going to live as a nobody for the rest of your high school year?" Cordelia cannot resist taking a barb at Xan, and they continue to argue as we enter the school and head to our first classes.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXo

8 hours, 7 classes and lunch later and I am sitting at home doing homework. What the fuck? Teachers aren't supposed to assign homework on the first day. God school sucked so much today. I mean I don't know what I was expecting. I knew it wasn't going to happen over a week. But as Faith and I walked through the halls nobody rushed up to us and told us how great we are. In fact no one of significance even said hi. We threw a bomb ass party if I do say so myself, and we were still nobodies.

A few things of significance did happen however. First was that well walking to my locker in between a couple of classes, I ran into none other than the new guy, Lindsay Mcdonald. We didn't talk long because 5 minutes in the bell rang for classes, but I did learn that he is a junior. Second thing, Parker Abrams has taken to hitting on me. You know with the lame cheesy pick up lines kind of hitting. It really freaked me out and Faith threatened to sock him if he kept it up. The third and most important thing happened during lunch.

_Flash back_

_We were sitting in the cafeteria, Faith, Will, Xander, Cordy and I that is, discussing what the hell the green item that was supposed to be green beans really was when the most amazing thing I think ever happened to me, well, happened. _

_It was like one of those eerie slow motion things like in the movies. I didn't really know what was going on but all of a sudden the sounds of people talking over one another stopped and everyone was looking towards the doors of the cafeteria. I glance over to and low and behold Sunnydale High royalty has just walked in. I don't know if they like practice this, but they just kind of stood by the doors looking like models posing without actually posing. After they made sure everyone had seen them they walk towards the empty table everyone knows belongs to them._

_Angelus, Spike, Gunn, Darla, Drusilla (Spike's girlfriend) and Lilah (Gunn's current flame) walk forward in that "Mean Girls" way side by side, looking forward and to cool for words. Behind them my brother and his friends are following them, looking less cool and incredibly smug. I want to smack the look of superiority of my brother's face but I resist the urge. _

_Moving on, as they walk everyone is watching them, including, I notice, everyone sitting at my table, and I roll my eyes. I mean Angelus is a sexy beast. But from what I remember of the night I actually spoke with him, he was an arrogant asshole, totally undeserving of this attention. The only reason he's cool is because he can catch a ball in a net thing and shoot it into a goal, cavemen could do that. Plus he's rich, and as aforementioned, hot. But whatever._

_I want to un-think all the thoughts I just had as they pass by our table because as they walk by us all of them turn and look directly at our table. You don't realize how creepy it was, it was totally Twilight Zone worthy. It felt like it lasted forever, but in reality as fast as they looked at us, they looked away got to their table and sat down. That was everyone's cue to continue conversation. _

"_Okay… So what was that?" Xander asked as soon as the cafeteria with filled with sound again._

_End Flash back_

And that was everything that I feel was important about today, although I don't know why Parker would be except that it was really annoying, but he used to ignore me all the time and treat me like Wesley's bratty little sister and now he wants in my pants or something. No stank you.

I was so confused by what happened in the cafeteria though. It was so odd and I was really confused. It really excited Faith though; she thinks it means they acknowledge our status as "potentially cool". Whatever that means, but it had to mean something. I tried to ask my brother about it but he called me crazy and said I imagined it because they would never speak to me. I don't really know but I guess we'll find out as time goes on.

**A/N: **I'm gonna try to update as much as possible, cuz im really enjoying writing this, but school just started and it's a busy year for me so be patient. Also I need some reviews people. 1 is a lonely number. More B/A later, although im warning you im planning on this being a long story cuz that's how it was gonna be wen I started and uh theirs gonna be Buffy and some other people along the way, don't get mad it is a B/A story however.


	5. Your sense of apprehension suits you

**A/N: **Sry it took so long to update guys, had school and stuff like that. Anyway some things. 1) for those of you who read this originally i had Riley as the new guy, i didnt think he fit the way i wanted that character in my story to, so i changed it to lindsey, i updated the beginning so it has his name now. he will show up more later. 2) the way the public school system works here 7, 8 and 9th grade are junior highs seperate from highschool. 10th is the first year of highschool. So its buffy and the gangs first year. that is for now.. enjoy

**2 months later… Friday before Spike Pratt's annual Halloween Party**

2 months into to school and I'm already ready to keel over and die. My classes suck. I have so much home work every night, which leaves no time for anything. My carefree summer life has officially ended. Not only that but I apparently did something to offend our grand, cough short, rude and incredibly rat like, principle, Snyder. Apparently having my older sister and brother be some of the favored students to every grace the halls of Sunnydale High does not automatically make me likeable. Wonderful.

Apparently my sibling's social and academic statuses do nothing for my social status either. After two months of our existence being ignored, Faith and I resigned our selves to a faceless high school existence. Yes, you are right in the assumption that, that lunch when I thought that maybe, maybe we were noticed by the cool kids was a fluke. I think Wes was right, I did imagine it.

So far my social life includes Faith, Willow, Cordelia, Xander and I sitting on my couch watching a movie on my Big Screen TV, courtesy of my father, and watched as Wesley went here and there with the guys. I went to school, came home, did homework, and went to sleep, repeat. The on the weekends I chilled with the gang. We toyed with idea of going to the Bronze, the local "it" spot, uhm… the only "it" spot in Sunnydale, but it would just be two embarrassing since we were lowly underclassmen.

I tried making friends with Lindsey, the new guy. Thought maybe we had a connection because of the party. But he seemed content on being by himself. I mean really, he has no friends, doesn't want 'em. I gave up after that, if the guy doesn't wanna be my friend what do I care I have my own friends.

Speaking of my friends, here we sit at our usual lunch table in all our nothingness. It's the Friday before Halloween, the Friday before Spike Pratt's annual Halloween Bash. This party was huge anyone who is anyone is going. So obviously we aren't. It's quite depressing actually, for the first year ever I don't even have a Halloween costume. I don't have a need for one, I'm too old to trick-or-treat and I have now parties to go too. I have not idea what I would wear if I did have something to wear it too. Mean Girls was right about one thing, Halloween is an excuse for girls to wear lingerie and animal ears… Or a slutty nurse, cop, teacher, librarian. It's like every guys fantasy come to life. And I, for one, am defiantly not comfortable enough with my body to wear stuff like that in private, let alone in public.

"So… What is this actually supposed to be?" Asked Faith pointing to some pile of unnatural yellow.

"I don't know and don't want to, that's why I don't eat lunch here." I replied.

Xander however, the expert of school lunches cut in, "I think it supposed to be creamed corn." Everyone at the table cringed and went about picking at their food. Everyone but me who sat there with an uneaten apple, brought from home, and a bottle of water.

I don't eat lunch. I don't eat breakfast. I don't eat dinner. I don't eat at all unless I have to, to keep people from noticing. It's easiest at school; I just blame my lack of appetite on the gross food they sell. I don't remember when I started not eating, I only know why. I was a skinny little kid, look at pictures of me from the age of 4 to 12 and I'm a stick. It's when I went through puberty, gained more weight than I should have, started reading magazines and getting into fashion noticed the ideal body set up by the media. People noticed I wasn't skinny either. Being chubby in 6th, 7th and 8th grade, isn't really that bad, baby fat perhaps. But when I looked at my perfect sister, my perfect mother, the way other people looked at the three of us when we went shopping, like I didn't belong with them, wasn't good enough, pretty enough.

It drove me crazy. I think the beginning of ninth grade I started skipping a couple of meals, started going jogging. I lost a few pound, people noticed. Especially my mom, and Gwen, my idol, the epitome of everything I wanted to be. The pretty, popular cheerleading princess. I worked harder lost more weight, the more I lost the easier it became. The comments people gave me were addicting. Everyone thought I really did just lose my baby fat, grew into myself.

We went on a family vacation at the beginning of this summer, before sophomore year and I had finally reached my goal weight, beyond that even. We came back, and I don't know if it was just being gone and nobody seeing us, or something else. But people finally started noticing me, when I went shopping with my sister now, people looked at us, me, like we were the perfect, skinny, family. I loved it. I'm way past my goal now; I just can't make myself eat now. It makes me sick just thinking about. It's been about a year now. No ones really noticed I don't eat. They don't care. I'm one of the "beautiful people" now, that's all they need to know.

I take a sip of water, leaving my apple uneaten. I look up and catch Faith staring at me with a funny look on her face. I give her my best "everything's-right-as-rain" smile, and she looks away. Just then somebody grabs my shoulders, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. Whoever it was then takes the empty seat next to me (there are a lot of empty seats at our table).

"Wesley, what brings you to our humble table?" Faith asks with a false sugary smile, they don't really get a long, when Faith and I were little Wesley took her Skydancer and flew it on to the roof; it's never been seen again. Needless to say Faith has never forgiven him.

Wesley gets this deeply serious, lets out a long suffering sigh and says…. "Okay it's like this, I was sent over here to invite you all to Spike's Party. Don't get all excited; don't get ideas into your head. You guy's aren't cool; you're only invited to even out the ratio of guys to girls. And you better not do anything to embarrass me." Wes rolls his eyes and before anyone of us can respond he gets up and walks away.

Cordelia starts giggling with excitement, Faith's trying to play it cool but I know she's excited, Willow is starting to hyperventilate and Xan, Well I don't think he understands what's going on. I mean I don't even understand it. Nobody has spoken yet and I take this opportunity to voice my opinion.

"Sorry to burst your bubbles guys… but we don't have costumes." Cordelia and Faith look at each other with these shit-eating grins on their faces.

"Actually, Cordelia and I go us costumes in case something came up, we wanted to be prepared." Faith said. And it was me and Willow's turn to look at each other, this time with dread.

"A-and what would those costumes be?" Willow asks.

"Well, see, it's a surprise." Cordy replies.

"And that sounds like something I would not wear. Look, you guys were invited you go, I think I'll just stay home." I do not trust Faith and Cordelia's taste in costumes, I would end up being a bunny in lingerie.

"Ditto." Is Willow's vote.

"No you guy's have to go, one because Buffy is Wesley's sister therefore our in, and two we need for people for the costumes to make sense." I knew this wasn't true, the reason we were invited was because Gunn had a crush on Cordelia. They may not talk to us, but I watch them sometimes, and I've seen the way he watches her when she walks. Sometimes goes out of his way to walk by her.

"Fine, I'll think about it, but it all depends on what the costume is." I gave in, because I knew they would eventually talk me into it anyway. I am rewarded with bright dazzling smiles from Cor and Faith, and a look of dread from Willow. "So what are you going to wear Xan?" I ask taking the focus off of me.

"Oh I'll think of something."


	6. Were Slaves to the DJ and Out of Control

_The lights that move sideways and up and down  
The beat takes you over and spins you round  
Our hearts steady-beating, the sweat turns to cold  
We're slaves to the DJ and out of control_

"Nope, no, absolutely not." I would not wear that. There was no way. They know that is something I would never wear, so why would they even suggest it. I took a peek at Willow whose face was pale, and she looked incredibly scandalized. I looked back down at the costumes that were spread out on Faith's bed and shook my head to the negative again.

"Y-y-you w-w-want me to wear THAT?" Willow finally managed to get out. Cordelia and Faith just had these really calm duh expressions on their faces.

"Well yeah, I mean they aren't that bad. Definitely less skanky than some of the things the other girls are going to be wearing. It's not going to like kill you to wear these. Plus I mean Faith and I bought them and picked them out and they're themed so if you guys don't wear it than Faith and I will look stupid… We need you guys… plus you'll look hot." Cor explained.

"When you said you picked out costumes I thought you actually meant costumes, not whatever scraps of clothe these are. I mean do they even cover everything?" There was no way I'd be comfortable in that.

"Okay B, just try it on okay, you'll see it how good… how classy… it looks on you and then you can really tell me you don't want to wear it, don't knock it till you try it. And come on it's only two hours till the party; you don't have time to find another costume."

"Yeah and whose fault is that Faith, you didn't let us see them until now!" I tried to complain, tried to get out of it, but Faith, she doesn't listen. She gave me a stern, don't-you-dare-argue-with-me, look and pushed me and the costumes… clothe… whatever into her walk-in closet.

"Uhg… guys did you even get the right size 'cuz this doesn't even cover my ass. Oh no wait it's probably supposed to be that way." I say as I exit her closet into the main room so I can get a look at how slutty I look in the mirror. What I see when I finally glance up is the awed expressions on my friends face.

"OMG B! You are such a hottie come here and look at yourself." Faith said pushing me in front of the mirror. And she was right… I did look good. I was still uncomfortable, but I looked good. The short Alice in Wonderland costume consisted of a tiny blue dress that ended at the top of my thighs and poofed out a bit and thigh high stockings. It was cute and somewhat tasteful in that take-me-home-and-do-bad-things-to-me way, which was not what I wanted.

"See Buffy you have to wear it, cuz without and Alice we don't make sense. I mean I'm the White Rabbit, Faith is the Queen of Hearts and Wills will be the Mad Hatter. We make sense that way we need you." Cordy pleaded. I looked at will again who was looking at me eyes filled with wonder, she finally looked up at me and said "You look really, really good Buffy." I smiled and took the compliment. I finally nodded and they took that as my okay. Cordelia squealed loudly, Faith clapped her hands, and Willow looked kind of nauseous, probably realizing that this would mean she'd have to wear the costume they bought for her.

"Okay people we have 2… 1 hour and 53 minutes to get ready, so let's get to it."

"Wait! Uhm Faith how do I where a bra with this?"

"You don't"

So about 2 hours and 53 minutes later. We were done. Make up on, costumes on and waiting for Xander to get over here so we could leave. Cordelia insisted on doing my make-up, making my eyes look dark and smoky. All in all I didn't look like myself anymore, and this was something I wouldn't be caught dead in. Willow looked just as uncomfortable, if not more, than I did even though her costume covered more than any of ours did. Faith did her make-up, so the result was similar to mine.

Xander finally got there and knocked on the door. When Faith opened it, it took Xander a couple minutes to stop staring and actually enter the house.

"Wow, I… wow, you guys look…. Wow… uhm.. wow." Xander finally said when he found his voice.

"Thanks Xan so what are you supposed to be anyway." Faith asked.

"I thought I was obvious, I'm Hugh Hefner."

"Isn't he like some old guy with lots of ho's?" Willow asked innocently.

"Yeah Xander where's your band of merry skanks?" Cordelia mocked, never missing an opportunity to take a jab at Xander.

Xander made this grand gesture in our directions and said, "Who needs hos when I have you guys."

All 4 of us smacked him.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

_With her high heel against the wall  
Kind of dancing, though not at all  
She had stockings running up to her thighs  
Snaps her fingers to keep the time_

I could feel the ground vibrate in time with the loud music coming from Spikes house. It was 11 o'clock when we got there, and I could tell that the party was just starting to pick up. The 5 of us walked up to the front door, Xander looking a little smug cause "he was with the 4 most beautiful girls at the party." Willow looked uncomfortable and I'm sure I did as well. Cordy and Faith on the other hand, looked like nothing fazed them, they were so confidant, and I was so jealous.

My nerves were getting to me more and more as we stepped through the threshold of the house. They rose about 100 more when I got a look at the inside of the party. To say I was shocked was understatement… It was the understatement of the century. I thought my party was out of control, well it looked like daycare compared to this.

There were people everywhere, the house was packed and I'm the backyard was as well. I guess Faith and Cor were right, are costumes were on the classier side when compared to bra, panties and animal ears most of the girls were wearing. Actually there where animals plus Slutty Malibu Barbie, Slutty Nurse, Slutty Army Chick, Slutty Bumblebee, Slutty Little Red Riding Hood, you name the guys fantasy and some girl was wearing it.

The costumes were the least of my worries though because as we entered the living room I caught sight of the people sitting on the couch passing a bong around. Somebody was snorting something on the coffee table, another person taking shots at the bar. There were people making out everywhere, and as we moved further into the party I saw more people doing things I could never imagine. The things you learn about in health class, watch people do in movies but never actually believe that happens. I guess when you're rich enough this is norm, and it scared the crap out of me.

_From the back of the room I saw her there  
I said she wants to be alone and I shouldn't dare  
But then she noticed me glance at her  
I had no choice but to dance with her_

I don't think any of us knew what to do with ourselves and we just kind of found an unoccupied space and stood there making small talk. I think all the drug use and much more than necessary displays of affection were even getting to Faith and Cordelia. After about 15 minutes somebody came up and thrust red cups into our hands. I wasn't even thinking just kind of in shock and took a sip of the cool liquid that warmed my throat. It helped calm my nerves so I drank a little more, and when that was gone I found that miraculously I had another cup. I didn't question it, it made me feel so good and my nerves were starting to calm. About halfway through my second cup I hear Cordelia shriek loudly, interrupting my fascinating conversation with Faith about whether Marissa dyeing ruined the O.C or not.

I looked up to see Gunn with one arm wrapped around Cordelia's waist and the other pulling her hair from her neck as he leaned his head down into the curve of her neck. SEE! I told you we were invited cuz Gunn liked her. These people need to start listening to me.

"I've come to svuck yur vlud." He said in this horrible Transylvanian, don't think that's right, accent making Cordelia giggle in that school girl way we school girls do. Typical he was a vampire, I mean come on be original. I took another sip of beer.

"Well don't you girls look cute." Gunn said addressing the rest of us, still slightly molesting Cor, which she allowed, I mean god hunny learn to play hard to get. Not that I know anything about playing… well anything, but I doubt its that hard to say no. Everyone around me was talking but I wasn't really paying attention to them. I was zoned out, lost in my own uncomfortable bubble. Thinking about what a stupid decision this was when I felt this heat go through my body. I felt eyes boring into me, undressing me in a way that made me uneasy. I looked around me widely trying to find the source of my discomfort.

That's when I saw them, him. Standing against the fireplace a group of people around them. There stood Angelus, Darla, Spike and Drusilla. Darla and Drusilla's costumes where the typical Naughty Nurse and French Maid, extra slut; Angelus and Spike however, well they looked down right dangerous. Black leather pants that should be illegal if those boys are wearing them, and a red leather shirt for Angelus, black muscle shirt for Spike. I couldn't help but think that they would make great vampires, maybe they were in another life. I vaguely remember catching part of the conversation around me mentioning that they, along with Gunn, were Vampires.

I hear Cordelia giggle again at something Gunn whispered into her ear. And I look back at Angelus who is staring at me with such intensity it send shivers through my buddy. All of a sudden I get really flushed and decide that I need to leave this room. So I lean over to Faith and tell her I'm going to go outside, she nods her head in recognition and I leave as fast as possible.

I go outside and breath in gulps of air as quick as I can. I don't know why he made me so nervous, but with him looking at me like that I couldn't breath, couldn't think. It was nicer out here, even thought there were still lots of people, some smoking hookah, others in the pool. I vaguely wonder where my brother is since I haven't seen him. I sat down on a bench off to the side and tried to calm my thoughts. I knew this wasn't a good idea.

I don't know how long I was sitting there when somebody sat down beside me. I looked over and saw this shady grease-ball character who I think is a senior… or maybe he graduated last year.

"Hey Alice, you look a little anxious, maybe you should take a trip down the rabbit hole, calm your nerves, if you know what I mean." He says to me, and I finally remember his name is Luke and he's the resident bad boy of Sunnydale High. He's hold out his hand expectantly and I look down into his palm to see a little pink pill. I gasp slightly.

"Wa-What is it?"

"This it's just a little E princess. It'll make you feel like you've never felt before. Pink playboy, it'll take you on a trip."

"I, I uhm, I dunno." I say looking around trying to find someone to save me from making this decision. I glance inside the house through the glass doors and see Cordelia, Faith and Willow even surrounded by guys talking and flirting with them. I suddenly feel incredibly left out.

"Come on Alice, take a chance, and follow the Rabbit." His voice is sounds so soothing, so seductive. And so I do I take the pill from his hand and pop it in my mouth. He smiles at me, gets up and walks away.

_The lights that move sideways and up and down  
The beat takes you over and spins you round  
Our hearts steady-beating, the sweat turns to cold  
We're slaves to the DJ and out of control_

I sit there for about 30 minutes longer and by the time Faith finally decides that it would be a good idea to look for her friend, I can feel the effects kicking in. I just feel so calm, comfortable so alive.

"Hey B, whatchya doing out here all alone?"

"Well I wasn't alone the whole time, I just became alone, well he left a little bit ago. So I am alone again. I'm lone Buffy. Hmm… that's a sad thought Buffy alone. All alone."

"B…. are you ok?"

"Yeah, 5 by 5 Faith, right?"

"Yeah… right… why don't we go back inside now." I don't respond I just hop up and start skipping back inside.

I skip all the way back to Cordelia, Willow, Gunn and Xan, Faith trailing behind me. I notice my brother and his friends are also there. I jump up and wrap my arms around Wesley's neck.

"WESLEY! You're here I was wondering where you were, I missed you. You look cute Mr. Gladiator guy." I give him a big smack on the cheek and he blushes furiously. He visibly tenses when he gets a look at my costume though.

"Buffy who the hell let you wear that?!" He growls out, and I find it oddly endearing right now that he's playing big protective brother. I point to Faith and smile has they get into an argument about how we should not be seen out in public wearing things like this, or nothing as he pointed out. I just sat there swaying to the music. No one was really dancing but I just couldn't sit still and really wanted to so I grabbed Faith's hand, cutting off the cutting remark she was going to say to Wesley.

"Come on Faith let's dance." She looks at me oddly but I just grab her hips and make her move with me. When a song, I know she absolutely loves comes on she finally gives in and starts moving with me.

_I watched her feet move, her hips they sway  
Does a hair flip then starts to say  
Oh, my God, it's my favorite song  
I pull her close and she sings along_

I get really into the dancing, lose myself in the song. I can feel people watching us, we probably look kind of odd since we are the only ones dancing. But it gives me this sense of power, making them watch us. I pull Faith closer and it's like we're almost one person. I know it looks sexual, I can feel the power that comes from it. I can feel the eyes looking at us with want and desire, and it get's me all hot and bothered. Heat is flowing through my body and I just keep dancing. It's all I can do. In the periphery of my hearing I heard Wesley smack Parker on the head and tell him to stop staring at us.

That's when Cor joins us, dragging Gunn with her, and starts dancing with us. Then more and more people join us. Willow, Xan, Wes and Fred. We're surrounding by people and I just keep smiling and dancing. Faith really gets into it with me too. I knew she would, she can't stand to not be part of the attention, the fun. We float around like fairies, flittering away from hands that venture to close to us.

How long we were dancing I didn't know. But I was just so hot and the room was so humid. I was in my own little world, I was so happy so light like nothing and no one could touch me. I felt beautiful and invincible. When somebody grabbed Faith's hips and wouldn't let go I just laughed and floated away, up and out of the room, briefly noting that it was Spike now dancing with Faith.

I kept laughing as I left the room into parts unknown. If I wasn't already high I know for a fact I would not have stopped to smoke a bowl with the stoners on the couch, move on to taking shots with jocks and then wandering around alone in the house. I had been around people for most of the night, it now being close to 2 in the morning. I didn't have to worry about being home, Faith's parents were out of town, and we all pulled the "I'm staying at so and so house". I felt like being alone now so I wandered up the stairs into the empty hallway and looked for a room I could hide out in.

I wandered into a dark room, which I found to be empty after a short evaluation. I didn't bother turning the light on just went and spread my self out on the couch, listened to the music and hummed to myself. My body was on fire and I felt tingly all over, it was an amazing feeling. I started running my hands over my body unconsciously as I realized that this was how I felt when Angelus was looking at me earlier, but it was much less nerve wrecking now. I had been kissed before, had a lot of boyfriends, only a couple actually serious, I'm 16 how serious can I be right now, but it never went further than a heavy make out session or two, all above the clothes north of the equator. But I found myself wondering what it would be like to go further, what it would be like to have hands that weren't my own exploring my body. Not just any hands but Angelus' hands. I could feel and ache low in my belly now and I wanted it to go away but didn't know how.

My hands had a mind of their own and were totally disconnected from my mind as I was thinking about Angelus and humming to the music. I had just put my hand down my dress and was stroking the top of my breast; I wasn't really paying attention to anything but the feelings flowing through my body, but a loud crash in the room catches my attention. I look up and see a figure standing by the coffee table I think they had run into, probably making the noise, I notice a little bit of light floating through the crack of the door. I hadn't even realized someone had come in the room.

_We can't slow down even if we tried  
If the record keeps spinning so will I  
She likes disco and tastes like a tear  
Tells me don't stop dancing and she's pulling me near_

"It's rude to sneak up on people, you should stomp or…. Actually bumping into a coffee table works too." I say out loud, not really to anyone just kind of putting it out into the universe.

"I didn't want to disturb you." My heart stops, I know that voice. That dark haunting beautiful voice, the same voice I was just imaging whispering naughty things into my ear. And here he is in all his glory.

"I'm sure you didn't, what are you doing in here, shouldn't you be downstairs at the party?"

"Shouldn't you?" He asks again and sits down on the couch, forcing me to move my feet. It annoys me I was here first, and now he's taking up my space. I decide to just spread my legs out again, they were there first if he wants to sit there than he has to just deal with it. It doesn't seem to faze him though.

"Hmm… yes but I don't wanna. I was enjoying being alone you know. So you should leave." He gives me his trademark smirk and it makes my insides swim.

"You think so, now that doesn't seem fair, I have every right to be here as you."

"I was here first so if someone has to leave, it's going to be you."

"Well why does anyone have to leave."

"Because I want to be alone."

"And that's your problem not mine."

"Asshole." I muttered under my breath. I mean he's attractive but he's totally obnoxious, every time I talk to him he pisses me off. The fact that he walked in on my feeling my self up would have mortified me, had I not been in the rabbit hole right now.

"What was that babe?" I scoffed at that.

"I am not your babe." I spit out indignantly.

He ignored my outburst though. "You seem lonely; a girl like you shouldn't be sitting in a dark room trying to get herself off." He turns to look at me and smiles at my surprised expression. "I could assist you if you want."

"You self righteous, arrogant bastard! How dare you. You think that you can just have anyone you want and they'll just fall down at your feet? Well not me. No way, no--" I didn't get to finish my sentence because I was suddenly pulled in Angelus' lap and his mouth was on mine.

It was sweet at first; he was just taking little sips from my mouth. His mouth tasted like a mix of cigarettes and alcohol. But what made me crazy was underneath that I could taste the ocean on his tongue. I couldn't get the angle I want so I moved my body so I was straddling him. The kiss became much more passionate, desperate than. He tongue pushed against my mouth begging for entrance, and I gladly allowed it. I ran my tongue against his teeth and could feel the tiny canine teeth he put on as fangs and poked my tongue on it make me giggle. He growled then and got a little more aggressive

His hands were roaming my body on the outside of my little dress. I felt deliciously hot and out of control, the fact that his erection was pressing against my intimate parts making me hotter by the second. His hands found there way to my legs, moving up slightly to rest on my upper thighs. We broke away for air and he started kissing down my neck.

He was causing dangerous feelings and I was getting wetter by the second I started grinding myself down against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he stood up only to lay me back down on the couch. He followed me then and we resumed our kissing. It was perfect, delectable. I couldn't imagine wanted to be anywhere else. His hands spread my thighs and one was moving closer to where I wanted it most when--

"Buffy are you up here?" I heard Willow call out, she sounded distressed, I could tell that through my lust and E induced haze. I worried me, and above all I was loyal to my friends, I pushed Angelus off of me and stood up. I started straightening my clothes as I hear Willow call for me again. I looked down at Angelus sitting on the couch with a confused and hurt look on his face, and just gave him my best apologetic look. He looks annoyed now.

"I'm coming Willow give me a minute."

_We've got nowhere to go, we've got nothing to prove  
Instead of dancing alone, I should be dancing with you  
This song is turning me on, the beat is doing me in  
Or maybe it's only you, but either way, lets begin_

**A/N: Hey guys sry if this isn't the best thing i've ever written, i had a little bit of time and less hw than ive had in a bit so i wanted to take advantage of it, i think its ok, just not my favorite, not sure if it flows. Hope, u like the little bit of B/A action, i was gonna make that stuff happen a little later, but i decided it would fit to start it now. Also i wanted you guys to know what i kinda wanted the costumes to be. Xander is the red hugh hefner robe deal.. google hugh and that wat xans costume is. Spike and Angel are well like they are in the show for costume wise. Gunn is like them to basic buffy vamp wear. **

Now I have pictures of Buffy, Cordelia, Faith and Willow's costumes so here they are

Buffy: us.st12./us.st./I/yhst-5095854240541720191800101368 (Alice in wonderland)

Faith: us.st12./us.st./I/yhst-5095854240541720191631408026 (Queen of Hearts)

Cordelia: us.st12./us.st./I/yhst-5095854240541720191768970881 (White Rabbit)

Willow: us.st12./us.st./I/yhst-5095854240541720191509465279 (Mad Hatter)


	7. We'll level the playing field tonight

**A/N: so sry i havent updated since... last year... was out of the country.. lost muse for a bit... Don't relly like this chapter.. but i needed to put something to move on from where i was so here you go.**

"Will? Hunny what's wrong?"

"What's wrong Buffy? No one had any idea where you were, you just took off… and-and-and Faith… well she's in trouble." Willow blurted out so fast I could barely understand her.

"What do you mean in trouble?"

"Well after you disappeared she, well," pause while Willow stammers and blushes furiously, "started making out with Spike, and well Skank-silla and Whore-la showed up.. and well they're down there now having a scream off, and will you please calm her down before she punches someone??"

"Oh God, you can't leave her alone for one minute can you?" I said as I dragged Willow down the stairs and back into the leaving room.

"Actually you were gone for more than a minute." I dropped her hand and made my way through the crowd of people to where Faith was standing.

"Hey B nice of you to show up, I was just telling Dru here where she can stick her relationship." Faith informs me.

"Really Faith, you think that's a good decision."

"Yeah Faithy listen to your little blonde friend here, she knows not to step out of line." Darlas grating baby-doll voice threw in. To be honest I was definitely not in the mood to be patronized and pushed around. The drugs in my system were giving me a confidence I normally didn't have; and right now I was feeling like I was so much better than she was. I mean I did just pretty much give Angelus Casey blue-balls.

"Actually I was trying to keep you from getting your face smashed in, but take it however you want it." She sneered at me after that comment.

"Look at you girls, trying to play with the big boys. Hunny your nothing but a little sophomore, nobody knows who you are because your nobody. The only reason you're here is because these boys get bored and need some entertainment, that's all you are to them, not even the flavor of the week, your just some taste test. You'll never be good enough for Angelus or Spike, so keep you hands off of them." Darla spat at Faith and I. I couldn't help my response either; I went into a fit of hysterical laughter, I don't know how long I was laughing but everybody was looking at me like I was crazy. I didn't stop till Faith nudged me really hard.

"I'm sorry," I said, "but did you just hear a word that came out of your mouth? I don't want to play your bullshit games, I don't want to be you; sorry to pop your bubble but not everybody worships you hun. The fact that your so called boyfriend can't keep his hands to himself is not Faiths problem, so back the fuck of Dru." Dru looked like she'd just been slapped and I noticed the person standing behind her and Darla, so I directed my next statement partially to him. "And your right Darla, I'll never be with Angelus or Spike, 'cuz I'd never let myself be 'The flavor of the week' or their back up slut."

Darla was at a loss for words before she said, "now that you've got ruining your social life for the rest of high school out of your system, why don't you and your merry band of social rejects and—" It must've been the drugs in my system, because I don't remember making the decision to punch her, but that is what I did.

"Try not to insult the friends of a girl whose been doing kickboxing for 3 years." I said as she sat on her ass on the floor. "Lets go guys." I linked arms with Faith and before we turned to leave she threw her cup filled with beer on Drusilla. I wasn't really aware of what was going on around me, I only knew that the crowd of people that had been watching opened for us as, Willow, Xan, Faith, Cor and me walked out. As I passed him that creepy guy Luke, who gave me the E, winked at me, and I just nodded my head back.

_The lights, they glow sideways and up and down__  
__The beat takes you over and spins you round__  
__Our hearts steady-beating, the sweat turns to cold__  
__We're slaves to the DJ and out of control_

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"Omg Omg Omg Omg"- Willow

"Buffy what the fuck you totally just ruined any chance I had at being with Gunn, I think he really liked me!!!"- Cordelia

"Jesus Christ B, Where did that come from? Are you on something?"- Faith

"I'm confused what did I miss?"- Xander

"Geeze you guys, it's no big, she was just really pissing me off, like who does she think she is, the Queen of Sunnydale? I so do not think so." Wow that felt really good.

"B, what happened to the plan? We wanted to be in the in crowd, with Darla and Drusilla no matter how skanky they are, wasn't that what we wanted, to not be another face in the hallway."

"Yeah well we have a new plan, I don't think I want to be popular if it means being like them, so we are going to make ourselves known on are own terms."

"What? Like punching all the popular kids out? That will work… I mean come Monday everyone will already know who Faith and Buffy are, even if it's only that no ones supposed to associate with them." Xander input.

"Come on Xan, go with the flow, everything will be fine, I mean that was fun wasn't it. I though we did a fine job."

"Okay I really do think she's on something." Willow said, "Seriously guys check out her eyes, they're all dilated. Buffy did someone give you something?" They were all starring at me now as we sat on the floor of Faiths room, which is where we went after the party.

"Calm down guys, that Luke guy just gave me something to mellow out, I was just so nervous when we got there." I said, and giggled to myself about how the night had shaped out. I mean I let Angelus go further with me than any other guy before, and I'd only talked to him once, then I punched his "girlfriend".

"B, this is important do you know what he gave you?"

"Yeah, come on I'm not that stupid I asked what it was, he gave me E. Guys you should seriously try it, it feels soooooo good, I mean like I've never ever felt this good before, and God I'm so hungry, Xan will you order pizza?"

"At three in the morning, I don't think they deliver this late Buffster." Cordy smacked Xander over the head. "That's not what's important right now Xan, the point is Buffy is taking drugs, she has a problem."

"It's not a problem guys, it's just this once and it's fun, hey every things fine guys, let's just sleep now, and we'll talk about everything in the morning… k?" They all looked at me oddly, but nodded they're heads and soon we were all asleep.


End file.
